Fluorescent laser beams, colourful strobes, young cheer girls dressed in skimpy dresses and flashing their pom poms, blue fairy lights..... the scene is not from any teeny poppers party or from a stadium, which is pronouncing the opening of a friendly football match at night.
It was the celebration, which marked the 54th birthday of the Indian queen of Dalits - popularly addressed as Behenji (sister).
This mild description of the gala event presents only a glimpse of the musical and colourful celebrations, which were organised by the bureaucrats to appease their master - Mayawati - the Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh.
The broad lane in front of her official residence was washed and fitted with temporary bomb detectors. The long fleets of white Ambassadors with blue beacon lights, made it evident that all bureaucrats of the state were on their duties - bow before the queen if you want to retain your post.
The hall where the chief minister normally holds the press conferences was ornate so garishly that it beat any fat Indian wedding. As the birthday girl makes a grand entry all cameras shift focus and so the bureaucrats vying with each other to be the first one with the best bouquet. Quite predictably, she is dressed in her favourite pink salwar kameez, the neckline of which is flashing her new gold necklace.
various troupes of girls dressed in different attires are waiting for the birthday girl to take her seat. After a formal exchange of pleasantries with a few privileged at the front row, the queen settles in her big sofa (the only sofa covered with a white towel).
The girls from a local chain of school start their singing and dancing. The girls are swaying and gyrating on birthday songs from old Hindi movies and with each song they are eulogising the wonderful schemes launched by Mayawati and the works done by her government in their last three year rule in the state.
The state which is most populous, most backward and most corrupt and which boasts to have the biggest brigade of illiterates and where poverty rules the roost. It has set the records for maximum number of children dying of diarrhoea and reporting high figures of maternal mortality and infant mortality. Women in this state are still giving births to their children on bullock carts on rickshaws and also at hospital steps.
Clean drinking water and uninterrupted power supply remains a distant dream in the state. The hospitals either do not have doctors or if by chance one is lucky to find a doctor, one should thank her/his stars if one finds medicines there. The state still tops the list with maximum number of polio cases. Death of over 300 people every year due to Japanese Encephalitis is considered normal here.
A visit to any village of the state displays that poor in this state are not only suffer from poverty but live in inhuman conditions.
Luckily, our Behenji, the Messiah and Mascot of Dalits understands the problem. That's is why she clarified that from this year her birthday would be observed as ``people-welfare day'' and not as ``party fund day''.
She gave a demonstration of her generosity and announced schemes worth Rs 7,000 crore (70 billion rupees), which included construction of bridges, fly overs, roads, power stations, hospitals and so on. This was not all - Madame exhibited her real generosity by announcing a monthly dole of Rs 300 (US$7-8) for poor people of Uttar Pradesh.
``We have this tradition of giving return gifts to the people of the state on my birthday,'' she proudly said.
Well said M'am! The poor of Uttar Pradesh must be singing - ``Happy birthday to you...'''
Friday, 15 January 2010
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
teaching etiquette - its high time !!!
The Delhi government has initiated a movement to teach its people the common etiquette and manners. New brochures and leaflets have been printed telling the public not to spit or throw rubbish on the road and also not to pee on the road. The blatant message for the people is :-``Do not become Su Su Kumar or Thu Thu Kumar''.
Good move! It's high time people, not only in Delhi but in the rest of the country as well, must learn to regard their nation and respect their surroundings. A mere statement that `Mera Bharat Mahaan' is not enough to convey our love or respect for the nation. It is much more than that - respecting our surroundings, our neighbourhood, our cities and our country in true sense.
All of us have witnessed these gross sights - spits all over the road and paan -stained corners in each and every government building and public place and revellers throwing rubbish at any place of their choices. The streets are used as open urinals where men can be spotted shamelessly standing with their pants down. The sight of a bottle or an empty can of cold drink or a packet of crisps flying out of a speeding car is not rare sight on Indian streets.
One of my friends (an educated one) once confessed to me that he doesn't mind throwing rubbish out on the road - when driving but he concsiously does not do the same when in some other country. There was a lengthy argument which followed between him and me. I tried convincing him that we should follow the right pattern of behaviour when it comes to etiquette rather than chosen behaviour at given situations. His argument was : ``Do in Rome as Romans do - here everyone throws rubbish on the road, me alone restraining would not make any difference''.
I totally disagree with him. I never throw rubbish on the road or spit on the road whether in India or any other country. I have taught my children also to follow the same pattern of behaviour. We often end up bringing the rubbish home and then throwing it in our bin. It has to start from somewhere and from someone. Why not me? If everyone starts thinking like my friend, the country would soon become a big garbage bin and an open public urinal. But if all of us resolve to behave - the way we should be behaving - we can definitely make a difference.
Similar argument I had once with one of my old colleagues. He objected to my criticism of Indians who did not behave. He said he loves his country and felt hurt if someone says anything against India or Indians.
I questioned him - Is simply being an Indian enough to be proud of our nation or do we need to do something for the nation to make us feel proud of it ?
He had no answer. I had one - before claiming to be Indian and being proud of the fact, make sure that you respect India. It start from our homes and reaches as far as our neighbourhood, our city, our work places, our other cities and eventually our country as a whole.
Kudos to Delhi government which has at least taken this initiative to change the age-old behaviour pattern in its people. I wish them success and hope some sense would prevails in the minds of Indians and they stop littering their own roads and dirtying their own surroundings.
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
After spending billions on memorials, Maya orders a check on ``unproductive expenditure''
After being rebuked by the Apex court of India for wasting the tax payers’ money – to the tune of Rs 260 Billion – on memorials and statues, the Indian queen of Dalits (lowest of all castes)– Mayawati has ordered her officials to observe austerity measures or to spend judiciously. Mayawati is also the chief minister of Uttar Pradesh – the most populous and backward state of India.
The orders of the Chief Minister are to curtail ``unproductive expenditure’’ and maintain ``financial discipline’’. Therefore, ``no seminars and trainings for her officials, unless necessary’’.
This raised a question in my head – were these officials in the past, going for trainings and seminars which were unnecessary? The question can best be answered either by the authorities that gave their sanctions for the seminars and trainings or by the officials who had been attending such events.
The list of ``don’ts’’ issued by the Chief Minister’s office to stop ``unproductive expenditure’’ and for maintaining ``financial discipline’’ is exahaustive.
- No new guest houses by any department, public enterprise or state owned autonomous institutions.
- No new office/residential building at any division or district except in new districts.
- No new vehicle purchase except for security reasons.
- Official tours for important and necessary government works should be minimized.
- No official lunch and inners in five star hotels.
- Blanket ban on advertisement and publicity by government departments
- No greetings, calendars or diaries on government expenditure on New year.
- It is the Chief Minister who is constructing guest houses/residences in the name of her favourite
- It is the Chief Minister’s cavalcade that has maximum number of vehicles.
- It is the Chief Minister’s office whose officials make the maximum number of tours
- It is the Chief Minister whose hoardings can be seen anywhere and everywhere in the state capital – in each newspapers and every news channels. The Uttar Pradesh government has spent about Rs 5 crore on making films on the Mayawati government.
Nevertheless, the government claims that despite limited financial resources it is running several welfare programmes for poor, Dalits, girls and slum-dwellers, who have remained deprived since India became independent. Several projects were being implemented by this government for the development of resources in rural and urban areas, says the official spokesperson.
However, the fact is that what one can see in Uttar Pradesh today, is memorials and statues in Lucknow & NOIDA and acute poverty and illiteracy in the rest of the state.
Unfortunately, it is not only construction in which the government is indulging – it is construction and demolition and construction and demolition – which seems to be the BSP way of building things.
The issues has reached the extent that even the Supreme Court of India issued an ultimatum to the government, ordering a complete halt for all construction activities with immediate effect. The court had also questioned how with a mere 2 percent GDP growth, a state like Uttar Pradesh could incur such a “colossal expenditure” on construction of memorials.
The court observations were strict -- “It is not as simple so please do not try to over simplify the matter. It needs to be examined whether such huge public expenditure can be made for memorials! Suppose 80 percent of the budget is diverted for building memorials, isn’t it call for a review by the court?
So much so for unproductive expenditure.......
Friday, 4 September 2009
Khamoshi ki Awaaz....
Tumhare saath reh ker maine jana
ki khamoshi kya hai.
Iski bhi apni ek bhasha hai
Sun sakti hai ye atma ki awaaz
Samajh sakti hai yeh ankhon ki boli
Kehti hai un-ginat afsaane
Kholti hai na jaane kitne raaz
Kyonki....
Humne khud sune hain
sannaton me meethe geet
Do atmaon ke milan ke
Banaye hain un-ginat raag
Samaa ker ek doosre mein
tab... jab.....
Baj uthti hain shahnaian anek
Baj uthte hain saikro sitar
Aise meethe sannate ko
kaun nahi sun-na chahega
baar baar...
Ab.... har wakht..
Sun-na chahti hoon us khamoshi ko
baate kerna chahti hoon us sannate se
Kyonki.....
Sunai parti hai usme tumhari awaaz
Goonjta hai jisme hamara pyar
Tumhare saath reh ker maine jana
ki khamoshi kya hai...
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
can medicines ever take over love?
Is medical treatment alone enough to ensure a healthy and happy life to people who have been diagnosed as HIV Positive?
Probably the answer would be yes if the question is thrown to health officials. They would list the numbers of Integrated Voluntary Counselling and Testing Centres, Anti Retro-Viral Therapy Centres, Community Care Centres and so on to highlight the kind of medical and health services available for the Positive people.
This is perhaps one reason why this issue is generally not raised in any of the conferences, seminars and workshops held on HIV/AIDS.
But the story of Vidya would force everyone to start talking about the emotional needs of people living with HIV and AIDS, along with their other medical and material needs - the former in fact shape the future course of a positive person’s life while shattering all dreams.
Sitting quietly in a corner and staring in oblivion, this young girl Vidya caught my eyes during an informal interaction with children infected and affected with HIV/AIDS. The event was held recently at Varanasi - the oldest living city of the world – as a joint effort of UNICEF and Media Nest, a welfare organisation formed by journalists and for journalists in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.
Vidya –an unassuming girl in her late twenties did her Masters in Zoology. Good in studies, her dream was to become a science teacher but today she works as a Project Coordinator with Banaras (Varanasi) Network of Positive People (BNP+).
Devoid of any emotional support or affection at home by her parents or siblings, Vidya developed Schizophrenia and started having hallucinations. ``I looked at my parents with suspicion as I wasn’t sure if they were my real parents’’, Vidya started narrating her story with an expressionless face. The voices on radio scared Vidya, she thought people were scheming against her and there were people who were talking about her.
In her state of delirium and hallucination often Vidya used to leave the safe surroundings of her home to take a walk. That aimless walk had no destination but it was a wandering to nowhere. ``I had no idea where I was going and whom I was talking to’’. If the closest family did not understand Vidya’s problem how could the cruel world be sympathetic to a lonely girl? Men tried and succeeded in taking advantage of her vulnerability. ``I did not know the meaning of sexual relationship. When men raped me I did not feel anything. I didn’t know what was happening to me’’.
All clear-cut indications of Schizophrenia.
But at home no one took Vidya seriously. If mother was indifferent to her fears, father thought their daughter was playing pranks. The disease grew serious and Vidya started talking to imaginary voices in her head, which coaxed her to talk to them. Since no one could hear those voices, the brothers thought she was behaving crazily.
``My brother started beating me. He said either you stop this rambling or I will throw you out of my room’’, Vidya recalls those days with a faint and painful smile on her face. The brother and sister shared the room and the brother found it difficult to study when Vidya continuously talked loudly.``But how could I stop? They (the imaginary voices) were talking to me and how could I not respond to them?’’ she innocently put her point forward. ``So I kept talking’’.
Eventually, on brother’s insistence, the family took the poor girl to a doctor who instantly diagnosed Vidya with Schizophrenia. Listening to the history of Vidya’s activities, the doctor suggested an HIV test on her, which turned out to be positive.
For last over five years Vidya is taking medicines for Schizophrenia along with Anti-Retro-viral Therapy (ART). Today she goes to BNP+ office alone and works the whole day. The family members too, treat her better in comparison to what they did in the past. But there is something missing in Vidya’s life. Her sad face tells many tales.
``I miss a special someone who could have been close to me. My parents are not very sensitive. Their affection is limited to taking care like fulfilling the basic requirements. They can’t think beyond that’’, Vidya says with loneliness and longing to be with someone, swimming in her eyes.
She misses that caring touch, she longs for that soothing hug and she craves for those comforting words, which make a person’s life complete. What Vidya misses is a man-woman relationship.
But she has lost all hopes of finding a man. ``Who will marry me now after what all I have gone through’’?Why? Anyone could marry you. You are beautiful, intelligent and above all a loving person’’.The words apparently comforted her as this time her smile touched her eyes. But a sudden realisation failed in retaining the smile. ``But now because of drugs my memory has gone weak. I don’t remember anything. I have also become very slow worker’’.
Helpless, I exchange phone numbers with her with a promise to keep in touch.
What an apparently healthy Vidya needs today is love and affection. It is not Vidya alone but so many Vidyas all across the globe – who have been diagnosed Positive – need love and affection along with medical treatment. What sometimes medicine alone cannot do, love can do. It can give the Positive people courage to face the world and most of all it can make them feel that they are needed by someone, which can work as the biggest motive for a person to keep him/herself healthy and happy.
I pray this Vidya and all the other Vidyas find their love in this lifetime. Amen!
Probably the answer would be yes if the question is thrown to health officials. They would list the numbers of Integrated Voluntary Counselling and Testing Centres, Anti Retro-Viral Therapy Centres, Community Care Centres and so on to highlight the kind of medical and health services available for the Positive people.
This is perhaps one reason why this issue is generally not raised in any of the conferences, seminars and workshops held on HIV/AIDS.
But the story of Vidya would force everyone to start talking about the emotional needs of people living with HIV and AIDS, along with their other medical and material needs - the former in fact shape the future course of a positive person’s life while shattering all dreams.
Sitting quietly in a corner and staring in oblivion, this young girl Vidya caught my eyes during an informal interaction with children infected and affected with HIV/AIDS. The event was held recently at Varanasi - the oldest living city of the world – as a joint effort of UNICEF and Media Nest, a welfare organisation formed by journalists and for journalists in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.
Vidya –an unassuming girl in her late twenties did her Masters in Zoology. Good in studies, her dream was to become a science teacher but today she works as a Project Coordinator with Banaras (Varanasi) Network of Positive People (BNP+).
Devoid of any emotional support or affection at home by her parents or siblings, Vidya developed Schizophrenia and started having hallucinations. ``I looked at my parents with suspicion as I wasn’t sure if they were my real parents’’, Vidya started narrating her story with an expressionless face. The voices on radio scared Vidya, she thought people were scheming against her and there were people who were talking about her.
In her state of delirium and hallucination often Vidya used to leave the safe surroundings of her home to take a walk. That aimless walk had no destination but it was a wandering to nowhere. ``I had no idea where I was going and whom I was talking to’’. If the closest family did not understand Vidya’s problem how could the cruel world be sympathetic to a lonely girl? Men tried and succeeded in taking advantage of her vulnerability. ``I did not know the meaning of sexual relationship. When men raped me I did not feel anything. I didn’t know what was happening to me’’.
All clear-cut indications of Schizophrenia.
But at home no one took Vidya seriously. If mother was indifferent to her fears, father thought their daughter was playing pranks. The disease grew serious and Vidya started talking to imaginary voices in her head, which coaxed her to talk to them. Since no one could hear those voices, the brothers thought she was behaving crazily.
``My brother started beating me. He said either you stop this rambling or I will throw you out of my room’’, Vidya recalls those days with a faint and painful smile on her face. The brother and sister shared the room and the brother found it difficult to study when Vidya continuously talked loudly.``But how could I stop? They (the imaginary voices) were talking to me and how could I not respond to them?’’ she innocently put her point forward. ``So I kept talking’’.
Eventually, on brother’s insistence, the family took the poor girl to a doctor who instantly diagnosed Vidya with Schizophrenia. Listening to the history of Vidya’s activities, the doctor suggested an HIV test on her, which turned out to be positive.
For last over five years Vidya is taking medicines for Schizophrenia along with Anti-Retro-viral Therapy (ART). Today she goes to BNP+ office alone and works the whole day. The family members too, treat her better in comparison to what they did in the past. But there is something missing in Vidya’s life. Her sad face tells many tales.
``I miss a special someone who could have been close to me. My parents are not very sensitive. Their affection is limited to taking care like fulfilling the basic requirements. They can’t think beyond that’’, Vidya says with loneliness and longing to be with someone, swimming in her eyes.
She misses that caring touch, she longs for that soothing hug and she craves for those comforting words, which make a person’s life complete. What Vidya misses is a man-woman relationship.
But she has lost all hopes of finding a man. ``Who will marry me now after what all I have gone through’’?Why? Anyone could marry you. You are beautiful, intelligent and above all a loving person’’.The words apparently comforted her as this time her smile touched her eyes. But a sudden realisation failed in retaining the smile. ``But now because of drugs my memory has gone weak. I don’t remember anything. I have also become very slow worker’’.
Helpless, I exchange phone numbers with her with a promise to keep in touch.
What an apparently healthy Vidya needs today is love and affection. It is not Vidya alone but so many Vidyas all across the globe – who have been diagnosed Positive – need love and affection along with medical treatment. What sometimes medicine alone cannot do, love can do. It can give the Positive people courage to face the world and most of all it can make them feel that they are needed by someone, which can work as the biggest motive for a person to keep him/herself healthy and happy.
I pray this Vidya and all the other Vidyas find their love in this lifetime. Amen!
what's an offence ?
"A mother-in-law kicking the daughter-in-law with her leg and telling her that her mother is a liar is not a punishable offence under Section 498A of IPC''. This is the perception of our Supreme Court -the Apex court of India.
First let's see what exactly this Section 498A of IPC (Indian Penal Code) says --
498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical) of the woman; or(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.]
The court has very quietly overlooked the words ``grave injury whether mental or physical health''.
In a country where there are over 250 women organisations fighting for women's rights and making all efforts to get the fairer sex a dignified place and equal opportunity in the society, the Supreme Court does not mind a woman kicking another woman.
The UPA government led by Sonia Gandhi is trying hard to get the Women Reservation Bill passed by the parliament to ensure 33 percent reservation to women everywhere so that women are no more a weaker sex.
The UPA government has also passed the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDV Act). There are many organisations which are working to ensure its implementation in letter and spirit.
The efforts have started showing also - the country's President is a woman, the ruling party of the nation - Congress - which is also the oldest party of the country - is headed by a woman. The Parliament Speaker's chair is held by a woman who has tamed all the 500 odd members of the House. Even the biggest state Uttar Pradesh is headed by a woman and the biggest private bank too is managed by a woman.
There is no field where woman have not registered their presence.
In such a country the Supreme Court observes that a woman kicking a woman is not a big deal. The court obviously feels that kicking does not cause any grave injury to a woman's mental or physical health, and therefore it cannot be kept under the purview of section 498A of IPC.
Then what is a punishable offence? What causes grave mental or physical injury? Is only killing someone is an offence? Is murdering someone's honour not a crime? Where are the Human Rights activists? Where are the women activists? Why no one has so far spoken a word against this lopsided observation?
The observation explains that the honourable court has either little or no clue what violence against woman means. And also that mental health has no meaning for legal experts.
A person kicks when he/she resorts to violence. This small step which the Supreme Court perceives ``not a punishable offence'', if not more than often leads to divorce, suicides and bride burning.
To go deep into violence against women, it often starts with mental humiliation and insult, which - if not protested - turns into slaps, kicks and fists and eventually results into a bruised soul and bruised body.
As we advocate for all bad things - nip in the bud - such actions should be punished in the beginning. There is a need for some compassionate thinking here. Why encourage such actions which lead to such gruesome end and which have a very harsh end and which most of all cause severe damage to mental health of a woman. Instead, if the first slap or first kick or the first fist is countered legally, there would not be so many suicides, bride burnings and marriage break ups.
The Supreme Court also observed that ``if a mother in law gives second hand clothes to her daughter-in-law and gives perpetual sermons to her, that too is not a punishable offence.
Here is a question for all those who have made the law and who support this law and who practice this law -- Will they accept this behaviour if it takes place with their own daughters? Second hand clothes, kicks and slaps are far fetched moves, such people will react violently even if the mothers in law dare to speak in a raised voice with the daughters of these law makers and enforcers.
A woman is first a woman - then someone's daughter, and then sister, wife, mother and lastly the daughter in law.
I think we need to look into the law with a fresh perception. The law is needed to protect the integrity, dignity and respect of a woman irrespective of her relation to others in worldly perspective. Same goes for men.
The world would be a better place if we start looking at people as humans rather than judging them with the eyes of relations. A man or a woman is a human first and his or her dignity and respect should be maintained at every cost.
First let's see what exactly this Section 498A of IPC (Indian Penal Code) says --
498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical) of the woman; or(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.]
The court has very quietly overlooked the words ``grave injury whether mental or physical health''.
In a country where there are over 250 women organisations fighting for women's rights and making all efforts to get the fairer sex a dignified place and equal opportunity in the society, the Supreme Court does not mind a woman kicking another woman.
The UPA government led by Sonia Gandhi is trying hard to get the Women Reservation Bill passed by the parliament to ensure 33 percent reservation to women everywhere so that women are no more a weaker sex.
The UPA government has also passed the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDV Act). There are many organisations which are working to ensure its implementation in letter and spirit.
The efforts have started showing also - the country's President is a woman, the ruling party of the nation - Congress - which is also the oldest party of the country - is headed by a woman. The Parliament Speaker's chair is held by a woman who has tamed all the 500 odd members of the House. Even the biggest state Uttar Pradesh is headed by a woman and the biggest private bank too is managed by a woman.
There is no field where woman have not registered their presence.
In such a country the Supreme Court observes that a woman kicking a woman is not a big deal. The court obviously feels that kicking does not cause any grave injury to a woman's mental or physical health, and therefore it cannot be kept under the purview of section 498A of IPC.
Then what is a punishable offence? What causes grave mental or physical injury? Is only killing someone is an offence? Is murdering someone's honour not a crime? Where are the Human Rights activists? Where are the women activists? Why no one has so far spoken a word against this lopsided observation?
The observation explains that the honourable court has either little or no clue what violence against woman means. And also that mental health has no meaning for legal experts.
A person kicks when he/she resorts to violence. This small step which the Supreme Court perceives ``not a punishable offence'', if not more than often leads to divorce, suicides and bride burning.
To go deep into violence against women, it often starts with mental humiliation and insult, which - if not protested - turns into slaps, kicks and fists and eventually results into a bruised soul and bruised body.
As we advocate for all bad things - nip in the bud - such actions should be punished in the beginning. There is a need for some compassionate thinking here. Why encourage such actions which lead to such gruesome end and which have a very harsh end and which most of all cause severe damage to mental health of a woman. Instead, if the first slap or first kick or the first fist is countered legally, there would not be so many suicides, bride burnings and marriage break ups.
The Supreme Court also observed that ``if a mother in law gives second hand clothes to her daughter-in-law and gives perpetual sermons to her, that too is not a punishable offence.
Here is a question for all those who have made the law and who support this law and who practice this law -- Will they accept this behaviour if it takes place with their own daughters? Second hand clothes, kicks and slaps are far fetched moves, such people will react violently even if the mothers in law dare to speak in a raised voice with the daughters of these law makers and enforcers.
A woman is first a woman - then someone's daughter, and then sister, wife, mother and lastly the daughter in law.
I think we need to look into the law with a fresh perception. The law is needed to protect the integrity, dignity and respect of a woman irrespective of her relation to others in worldly perspective. Same goes for men.
The world would be a better place if we start looking at people as humans rather than judging them with the eyes of relations. A man or a woman is a human first and his or her dignity and respect should be maintained at every cost.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
my mother
My friend GS says that the topic of Euthanasia needs more debate. I totally agree with him.
Off late I am seeing my mother suffering. She had been a very independent, hard working and energetic woman throughout her life. While I was growing up I saw her as an `indispensable person' in any festival or function anywhere in my big family. A good cook and a beautiful manager she was in great demand and she subserviently was present everywhere taking over all burdens and freeing others of all responsibilities. No marriage was complete without her.
The best part was - which I think others admired the most - was that she was never seen or heard working - she was so quiet. May be that was the reason she was liked by everyone.
Even at home I don't remember doing any household chore as she let us be free to study and play, and grow as children. Her theory was : every girl has to manage her home one day or the other so let her feel like a princess till the time she is in her parents' home. And she was right in her thinking.
I also took the clue and never asked my daughter for any work and always treated her like a princess. Just like my mother attended to all my tantrums (being the youngest of the three I did have my time) and pampered us to no limit, I also try to pamper my children and make effort to attend to their tantrums, albeit I am not good at it.
But my mother maintained a balance and the result was that we were most close to her but at the same time most scared of her. Today I find her helpless, fragile, and in pain. She is dependent on others for all her needs.
I normally don't talk about my personal life on my blog thinking why should I bother others with my worries or waste their time in sharing my achievements. But the issue is not MY mother, it can be any one's mother, father or any one who is dearly loved.
Her condition and a simple comment by GS has forced me to transfer my thoughts on these pages.
It might sound cruel but sometimes when I look at my mother I want to put her to an eternal rest. Wouldn't Euthanasia be the best solution for her problems? Anyone who has lived with the pride not to ask anyone for anything (today that person has to ask everyone for everything), would like to die the same way. Why should we let her go through the mental trauma of depending on others along with her physical ailments.
If she had read the news of Suicide Clinic - or if I tell her about that - I am sure her last wish would be to visit Switzerland - not to see the alps but to die a dignified death.
I stand solidly for Euthanasia.
Friday, 17 July 2009
dying in suicide clinics
Couples in love - anywhere all across the globe swear to live and die together, for each other, but how many actually die with their partner... rarely any....!!
But here is this British couple Edward Downes and his wife Joan, after completing 54 years of partnership, recently ended their lives in an assisted Suicide Clinic in Zurich (Switzerland).
Sir Edward Downes - a celebrated Opera Conductor - was 85 and his wife Joan was 74. Sir Donwes - who was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II in 1991 - had become almost blind and also deaf. Wife Joan - who used to be a dancer, choreographer and television producer and assisted her partner in his work - was diagnosed Cancer, according to reports in British newspaper.
``They decided to end their lives together instead of cointinuing to struggle with serious health problems which become an integral part of old age'', said the Downes children.
This small news item printed in one obscure corner of a newspaper, caught my eye and forced me to think of Euthanasia, which had raked huge controvesies some time back. Of course, the news neither sizzled enough and was also not juicy enough to get the scribes salivating for it and therefore it did not find any place in any of the editorials. Majority of the newspapers even overlooked the news.
Nevertheless, it made me think all over again about this death by choice, which I feel is the most vital decision of life. It sounds paradoxical - but its true. Every Human being at some point of time or the other always thinks of his/her death. Some are scared of death and some want to fulfil their series of wishes before they die. But death is important and inevitable for every living being.
Just sit back and think, if there is illness we wish to die, if a loved one leaves the world, we pray that we too should die. If there is financial crisis we talk of ending our lives or if someone has humiliated and played with our dignity, we want to die.
The newspaper in India are full of reports where a woman has jumped off the train with her two children because she could not feed them, or a man poisoned his wife, children and himself as he could not work due to his illness, or some educated man shot himself because he could not pay back the loan he had taken from the bank or a girl jumps off the fourth floor of a shopping mall as her boyfriend had ruined her life, or a young boy or a girl has jumped into the river because he/she could not get marks desired by his/her parents.
There are hundreds of simple reasons with each person for which he/she wants to end his/her life - however ridiculous these reasons might appear to others. But there are not so simple means to end one's life. Jumping in front of the train or into the river, or jumping off the moving train are crude ways to commit suicide, which in my view do not give a dignified death to a human. In such environment, if we too have a dignified and peaceful way to end life, wouldn't it be good?
As far as judicious use of suicide clinics is concerned - every facility or law has two ways to it - it can be used or abused. It is duty of the law enforcers to ensure that it is not abused. The fear of abuse has made Euthanasia (a medical practice) see maxium number of protestors. This shows that since we fail to enforce law judiciously, and we see the chances of abuse and misuse of a particular law are high and for which strict enforcement is a pre-requisite - we surrender and start opposing it.
PS: Some interesting facts about Suicide Clinics run by group of Dignitas (Source:Wikipedia)
Dignitas was founded in 1998 by Ludwig Minelli, a Swiss lawyer. In one of her interviews in March 2008, she had stated that Dignitas assisted 840 people, of which 60 per cent were Germans.
As of October 2008, approximately 100 British citizens had travelled to Switzerland from the UK to die at one of Dignitas' rented apartments in Zurich.
EXIT is another Swiss organization providing assisted suicides. In 2008, it had 50,000 members. However, EXIT strictly denies suicide assistance for people from abroad
The BBC has produced a film titled `A Short Stay' in Switzerland. The flm tells the story of Dr Anne Turner, who made the journey to the Dignitas assisted suicide clinic, on 24 January 2006 she ended her life, the day before her 67th birthday. The film was shown on BBC1 on January 25, 2009.
Monday, 13 July 2009
virginity test ! what ?
Recently, in Madhya Pradesh, a few young girls had to go through the trauma of getting their virginity tested before their marriage. They were also tested for any probable pregnancy. This was done to girls whose marriage was fixed under a government scheme - Mukhya Mantri Kanya Daan Yojna (Chief Minister Girls' Marriage Scheme). In such schemes, carrying on in some states of India with an aim to help poor families, the government gives a certain amount of money to the girls' families to get them married and sometimes this money is given to the couple to set up their homes.
The news was obviously shocking, at least to me. I pinched myself to know which century I am living in. Is it 21st century? Is it the new millennium? In this age when we, instead of preaching single partner norm to the next generation, tell them about safe sex, the grooms are going for virginity tests of their prospective brides!!! It's shocking!!!!
The issue which bothered me and concerned me was not the virginity test but was more serious as to why the virginity test of only girls. Why not same procedure for boys? Who has ever questioned the virginity of a boy? If not, why raise a question on the virgnity of a girl?
There is an age-old theory goes behind this shameful practice; physically, it does not affect the boys if they have sex before marriage but it does leave an impact on a girl's physiology. Fine, accepted. But the question is; when a girl accepts a boy without knowing or raising doubts over his virginity who has given the right to anyone to question a girl's virginity? It is not only insulting but utterly humiliating for a girl to go through virginity test because some one else is curious to know if she had sex before her marriage.
Unfortuntaley, in India the practice goes on even in educated families - not so blatantly though.
My point of view is; in this era and in this society (I am talking of Indian society) where late marriage is a common phenomenon, homosexuality is getting acceptance, a large number of young boys and girls opt to remain single by choice and awareness regarding HIV/AIDS is increasing, we should not see sex as something out of this planet. It is a physical need and we should not assume that our young growing kids would abstain from it just because they are not married.
Youth is the age which is most curious to know all aspects of sex and wants to experience it the most. But this is also the age when most youngsters are either studying or pursuing their careers and they don't want to get entangled in familial responsibilities. So, should they forget about their biological needs? It is simply and practically not possible! They will explore this aspect of life whether the parents accept it or deny it, or remain oblivious to visible needs of their children.
Instead of feigning ignorance of this logical behaviour of our children, I think, each parent should grab this moment as an opportunity to educate his/her child about safe sex in context to diseases, infections, unwanted pregnancies and over all reproductive health.
Let's educate our children on how to safeguard themselves from getting infected with HIV or from contacting STDs. While doing this, we can also check the growing population of the nation by telling them to live like responsible citizens, instead of creating an unnecessary brouhaha over virginity of a girl.
The news was obviously shocking, at least to me. I pinched myself to know which century I am living in. Is it 21st century? Is it the new millennium? In this age when we, instead of preaching single partner norm to the next generation, tell them about safe sex, the grooms are going for virginity tests of their prospective brides!!! It's shocking!!!!
The issue which bothered me and concerned me was not the virginity test but was more serious as to why the virginity test of only girls. Why not same procedure for boys? Who has ever questioned the virginity of a boy? If not, why raise a question on the virgnity of a girl?
There is an age-old theory goes behind this shameful practice; physically, it does not affect the boys if they have sex before marriage but it does leave an impact on a girl's physiology. Fine, accepted. But the question is; when a girl accepts a boy without knowing or raising doubts over his virginity who has given the right to anyone to question a girl's virginity? It is not only insulting but utterly humiliating for a girl to go through virginity test because some one else is curious to know if she had sex before her marriage.
Unfortuntaley, in India the practice goes on even in educated families - not so blatantly though.
My point of view is; in this era and in this society (I am talking of Indian society) where late marriage is a common phenomenon, homosexuality is getting acceptance, a large number of young boys and girls opt to remain single by choice and awareness regarding HIV/AIDS is increasing, we should not see sex as something out of this planet. It is a physical need and we should not assume that our young growing kids would abstain from it just because they are not married.
Youth is the age which is most curious to know all aspects of sex and wants to experience it the most. But this is also the age when most youngsters are either studying or pursuing their careers and they don't want to get entangled in familial responsibilities. So, should they forget about their biological needs? It is simply and practically not possible! They will explore this aspect of life whether the parents accept it or deny it, or remain oblivious to visible needs of their children.
Instead of feigning ignorance of this logical behaviour of our children, I think, each parent should grab this moment as an opportunity to educate his/her child about safe sex in context to diseases, infections, unwanted pregnancies and over all reproductive health.
Let's educate our children on how to safeguard themselves from getting infected with HIV or from contacting STDs. While doing this, we can also check the growing population of the nation by telling them to live like responsible citizens, instead of creating an unnecessary brouhaha over virginity of a girl.
Sunday, 5 July 2009
it is basic courtesy, which lacks in us....
Now the government of India will educate people of this country about ``mobile phone etiquette''. Interesting! The country has largest number of mobile subscribers and sadly enough, majority of them have no clue if there are some etiquette to be followed in its use.
It is basic courtesy - like keeping the mobile on silent during meetings, or in a cinema hall or at a restaurant, or keeping the ring tone so low as not to disturb others - the same goes for voice while talking on phone - etc etc. As the number of mobile users grow - the government too, I suspect, started noticing the social hazards of cell phone and decided to teach people some common etiquette.
Soon, a person buying a mobile phone will be given a hand bill full of instructions - like - ``keep your mobile on silent or turn it off when in hospital or school as it might disturb the patients or the students'' or ``talk softly on mobile phone so that you do not annoy others with your personal conversation'', or during movies keep your phone silent so that others who have come to enjoy the movie do not get disturbed.
I welcome the move which is much needed for us Indians, who often care less for others' convenience.
I recall my two former colleagues who used to keep their mobile ring tones at the highest level. When they left their phones on their tables and that time if by chance someone called them up - the whole office used to be full of those annoying sounds. It was like a small orchestra band playing for some kitty party. Their phone rang in the meeting also drawing every one's attention to the sound. People joked about them, gave them advice and also showed displeasure - but neither these colleagues changed nor the volume of their mobile ring tones.
During my visit to England last year, I came to know that the British government along with smoking, had banned use of mobile phones at certain places like pubs, cafeteria, restaurant etc. Although in the western world I found people in comparison quite considerate - it is not only mobile but their etiquette was visible even on the road. No one flashed high beam at night, vehicles stopped and slowed down for cyclists, they gave way to pedestrians, also gave way to vehicles reversing or turning. Not only this, majority of the drivers waved their hands in a gesture of thanks when the other one gave them way.
It was such a pleasant sight unlike India where the driver of a SUV tweets behind a fragile rickshaw puller asking him to get away and let the bigger and more powerful vehicle pass. These big vehicle owners reflect an attitude as if the road belongs to only the powerful vehicles and the pedestrians or cyclists have no right to walk on the road. The drivers , I think, have no clue what the low beam switch is for in a car. Almost everyday I see a big car honking behind a cart full of 500 tonnes of iron rods, being dragged with difficulty by a frail old man. People generally do not know what road manners or road courtesy means.
Alas! to such men the government is planning to teach manners for the use of mobile phone.
I wish this education bring some sense onto them to use their phone with consideration to others' convenience, as expecting them to behave and be courteous on the road would be too much to ask.
Nonetheless, I feel that courtesy and consideration comes from within and cannot be taught. We inculcate these values in our children from the day they are born. Still, we can only hope that the handbill which the government will give to mobile users will imbibe some etiquette in people which they might replicate on the road as well. Amen!!
It is basic courtesy - like keeping the mobile on silent during meetings, or in a cinema hall or at a restaurant, or keeping the ring tone so low as not to disturb others - the same goes for voice while talking on phone - etc etc. As the number of mobile users grow - the government too, I suspect, started noticing the social hazards of cell phone and decided to teach people some common etiquette.
Soon, a person buying a mobile phone will be given a hand bill full of instructions - like - ``keep your mobile on silent or turn it off when in hospital or school as it might disturb the patients or the students'' or ``talk softly on mobile phone so that you do not annoy others with your personal conversation'', or during movies keep your phone silent so that others who have come to enjoy the movie do not get disturbed.
I welcome the move which is much needed for us Indians, who often care less for others' convenience.
I recall my two former colleagues who used to keep their mobile ring tones at the highest level. When they left their phones on their tables and that time if by chance someone called them up - the whole office used to be full of those annoying sounds. It was like a small orchestra band playing for some kitty party. Their phone rang in the meeting also drawing every one's attention to the sound. People joked about them, gave them advice and also showed displeasure - but neither these colleagues changed nor the volume of their mobile ring tones.
During my visit to England last year, I came to know that the British government along with smoking, had banned use of mobile phones at certain places like pubs, cafeteria, restaurant etc. Although in the western world I found people in comparison quite considerate - it is not only mobile but their etiquette was visible even on the road. No one flashed high beam at night, vehicles stopped and slowed down for cyclists, they gave way to pedestrians, also gave way to vehicles reversing or turning. Not only this, majority of the drivers waved their hands in a gesture of thanks when the other one gave them way.
It was such a pleasant sight unlike India where the driver of a SUV tweets behind a fragile rickshaw puller asking him to get away and let the bigger and more powerful vehicle pass. These big vehicle owners reflect an attitude as if the road belongs to only the powerful vehicles and the pedestrians or cyclists have no right to walk on the road. The drivers , I think, have no clue what the low beam switch is for in a car. Almost everyday I see a big car honking behind a cart full of 500 tonnes of iron rods, being dragged with difficulty by a frail old man. People generally do not know what road manners or road courtesy means.
Alas! to such men the government is planning to teach manners for the use of mobile phone.
I wish this education bring some sense onto them to use their phone with consideration to others' convenience, as expecting them to behave and be courteous on the road would be too much to ask.
Nonetheless, I feel that courtesy and consideration comes from within and cannot be taught. We inculcate these values in our children from the day they are born. Still, we can only hope that the handbill which the government will give to mobile users will imbibe some etiquette in people which they might replicate on the road as well. Amen!!
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