Tuesday 10 July 2018

Stars in my Eyes

The more I delay and procrastinate writing, the more I admire and respect the bloggers and writers who are disciplined and regular. 

However, I have finally got the time to relax and have a heart-to-heart talk with all of you who still like to read what I write (despite long gaps); but before I proceed, I must thank and apologise to all of you, and express my heartfelt gratitude for being there for me.

Last six months have been a real roller coaster ride for me. When I say roller coaster ride, I mean it! I travelled far and beyond, and now when back from the rigmarole, I feel like sharing my journey and experience with all of you.

After contemplating for about a year, I finally moved my base.

Three decades ago, I had come to Lucknow - the erstwhile city of nawabs (there are neither nawabs [Mughal royals] nor the nawabi tehzeeb [etiquatte] and culture). Though coming from a small town, I adapted to the city as a fish to water. The city gave me some memorable moments which I will cherish forever. My beautiful girl and handsome boy were born in the city. I changed my nomenclature from a housewife to a working mother. I found a few lovely friends there, experienced love and love lost, changed the course of my career, and found stability in life, and most importantly, understood the meaning of spirituality and contentment.

Growing in years (don't ask the age), I realised life is not about material possessions and happiness can't be found outside, in temporary elements and stimuli. Life is loving people and happiness is being at peace with yourself. The realisation was strong and compelled me to move from the city, which I found to have been going backwards - from being a peaceful city to a growing economy, in which people are becoming rats, and don't get tired of running (not running for health but running as chasing something or the other). I saw people becoming less loving, more flashy. 

I realised I was definitely not a part of that race and was certanly out of place - the odd one out.

The realisation converted into action and thus began the process of packing memories and events of three decades in small cartons. it was physically strenuous and mentally exhausting. But what gave me peace was the decision and clarity in my head, that this is what I wanted. when we turned the house upside down, many memories and moments tumbled up. Some narrated the stories others took us back to the memory lane. Pictures began in flashback. Certain things were kept aside to be unfolded at leisure when the whole family is together (for example the letters my children used to write to me, practically daily), others made us laugh and in between all that jazz, we found time to use some old stuff and get some selfies.

Finally, in my mid-life, (when people find themselves more or less settled), I moved the base to a bigger city. The solace this city gives me is that here I have stars in my eyes - my left and right eye are here - my children are here - my lifeline is here.

Bags have been unopened. Plants have found their corner and appear happy. The house has become more or less a home. Life is in its usual course. Laughter and music have filled the void. Now its time to explore its vibrancy, food, drinks and parks.

Now sitting with my feet up, I review the year-long journey - first mental and then physical - and the thought comes to my mind is that perhaps this was the longest and an epic journey that I have ever taken in my life.

This is also the time, I want to make a promise to all of you and more to myself that I will be regularly in touch with the people who give me their love in the form of their admiration. I will be regular in sharing my feelings and experiences with all of you, as you are the one who motivates me to converse with you in written words.

Some pictures of nostalgia will follow soon...
   

No comments: