Sunday 10 May 2015

My Mother & Me Mother

I don't buy the idea of celebrating these special days as everyday is special for people who hold special place in our lives. Yet this mothers' day I felt compelled to share my thoughts with people who care what and how I feel.

Like any other person my mother, Urmila Pande nee Bajapi, was an inspiration for me. Her strength was unmatchable as she could work for hours at a stretch without any break. She used to be the in-charge of the kitchen in all marriages in our family and would single-handedly feed hundreds of guests. She was courageous as she was not scared of stepping out in our garden, with low boundary walls, in the dark.

Her sacrifices were exemplary. She would not let people even realise when she did something for them. Her cooking is remembered by all those who ever got lucky to taste her food, even today. She was an extraordinary seamstress. I have yet to find a tailor who could stitch such flawlessly fitted sari blouses as she did. Every girl who got blouses stitched from her faces the same problem what I face today.

A voracious reader, she finished all the books in a library in Unnao city. She had to join another one. A well-read woman, she could converse on any issue - be it politics, spiritualism, sports or movies. With her elephantine memory, she remembered all songs but unfortunately she could not sing - the only remorse she carried with her even to her deathbed.

She never complained as I never saw her brooding. I recall playing Four Corners with her in the Aangan (courtyard) of my big ancestral house in Unnao. All what I know about mythology is due to her. I was fortunate to have her as my mother who would narrate stories every evening when I impatiently waited for the dinner to be ready.

She never insisted that my sister or me should work in the house or learn cooking or get habitual of household chore. She never asked us to wear any particular dress as we were free to wear whatever pleased us. I remember that after watching the film Bobby, I asked her to stitch the same mini skirt and the polka-dotted blouse with a knot, as Dimple Kapadia wore in a song, and she did. It was exactly the same.

Today, she is no more in this world but she is always with me, living inside me.

I have inherited a few traits from her although I cannot match all her traits.


I have two children who are my lifeline and I couldn't have possibly succeed in facing the vagaries of life if they were not there. Today, they are grown up citizens and make me feel proud of them everyday.

What I learnt from my mother, I tried to execute a little of bit of that in my life when I became a mother. I read my children stories almost everyday. I stitched fancy clothes for my children. I tried to cook good food for them, which they remember.

Yet, I will always regret that I couldn't do enough or as much as my mother did for me, for my children.

Therefore, today, I take time to salute to these six letters which make a meaningful word called 'Mother'!  
     

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