Is medical treatment alone enough to ensure a healthy and happy life to people who have been diagnosed as HIV Positive?
Probably the answer would be yes if the question is thrown to health officials. They would list the numbers of Integrated Voluntary Counselling and Testing Centres, Anti Retro-Viral Therapy Centres, Community Care Centres and so on to highlight the kind of medical and health services available for the Positive people.
This is perhaps one reason why this issue is generally not raised in any of the conferences, seminars and workshops held on HIV/AIDS.
But the story of Vidya would force everyone to start talking about the emotional needs of people living with HIV and AIDS, along with their other medical and material needs - the former in fact shape the future course of a positive person’s life while shattering all dreams.
Sitting quietly in a corner and staring in oblivion, this young girl Vidya caught my eyes during an informal interaction with children infected and affected with HIV/AIDS. The event was held recently at Varanasi - the oldest living city of the world – as a joint effort of UNICEF and Media Nest, a welfare organisation formed by journalists and for journalists in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh.
Vidya –an unassuming girl in her late twenties did her Masters in Zoology. Good in studies, her dream was to become a science teacher but today she works as a Project Coordinator with Banaras (Varanasi) Network of Positive People (BNP+).
Devoid of any emotional support or affection at home by her parents or siblings, Vidya developed Schizophrenia and started having hallucinations. ``I looked at my parents with suspicion as I wasn’t sure if they were my real parents’’, Vidya started narrating her story with an expressionless face. The voices on radio scared Vidya, she thought people were scheming against her and there were people who were talking about her.
In her state of delirium and hallucination often Vidya used to leave the safe surroundings of her home to take a walk. That aimless walk had no destination but it was a wandering to nowhere. ``I had no idea where I was going and whom I was talking to’’. If the closest family did not understand Vidya’s problem how could the cruel world be sympathetic to a lonely girl? Men tried and succeeded in taking advantage of her vulnerability. ``I did not know the meaning of sexual relationship. When men raped me I did not feel anything. I didn’t know what was happening to me’’.
All clear-cut indications of Schizophrenia.
But at home no one took Vidya seriously. If mother was indifferent to her fears, father thought their daughter was playing pranks. The disease grew serious and Vidya started talking to imaginary voices in her head, which coaxed her to talk to them. Since no one could hear those voices, the brothers thought she was behaving crazily.
``My brother started beating me. He said either you stop this rambling or I will throw you out of my room’’, Vidya recalls those days with a faint and painful smile on her face. The brother and sister shared the room and the brother found it difficult to study when Vidya continuously talked loudly.``But how could I stop? They (the imaginary voices) were talking to me and how could I not respond to them?’’ she innocently put her point forward. ``So I kept talking’’.
Eventually, on brother’s insistence, the family took the poor girl to a doctor who instantly diagnosed Vidya with Schizophrenia. Listening to the history of Vidya’s activities, the doctor suggested an HIV test on her, which turned out to be positive.
For last over five years Vidya is taking medicines for Schizophrenia along with Anti-Retro-viral Therapy (ART). Today she goes to BNP+ office alone and works the whole day. The family members too, treat her better in comparison to what they did in the past. But there is something missing in Vidya’s life. Her sad face tells many tales.
``I miss a special someone who could have been close to me. My parents are not very sensitive. Their affection is limited to taking care like fulfilling the basic requirements. They can’t think beyond that’’, Vidya says with loneliness and longing to be with someone, swimming in her eyes.
She misses that caring touch, she longs for that soothing hug and she craves for those comforting words, which make a person’s life complete. What Vidya misses is a man-woman relationship.
But she has lost all hopes of finding a man. ``Who will marry me now after what all I have gone through’’?Why? Anyone could marry you. You are beautiful, intelligent and above all a loving person’’.The words apparently comforted her as this time her smile touched her eyes. But a sudden realisation failed in retaining the smile. ``But now because of drugs my memory has gone weak. I don’t remember anything. I have also become very slow worker’’.
Helpless, I exchange phone numbers with her with a promise to keep in touch.
What an apparently healthy Vidya needs today is love and affection. It is not Vidya alone but so many Vidyas all across the globe – who have been diagnosed Positive – need love and affection along with medical treatment. What sometimes medicine alone cannot do, love can do. It can give the Positive people courage to face the world and most of all it can make them feel that they are needed by someone, which can work as the biggest motive for a person to keep him/herself healthy and happy.
I pray this Vidya and all the other Vidyas find their love in this lifetime. Amen!
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
what's an offence ?
"A mother-in-law kicking the daughter-in-law with her leg and telling her that her mother is a liar is not a punishable offence under Section 498A of IPC''. This is the perception of our Supreme Court -the Apex court of India.
First let's see what exactly this Section 498A of IPC (Indian Penal Code) says --
498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical) of the woman; or(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.]
The court has very quietly overlooked the words ``grave injury whether mental or physical health''.
In a country where there are over 250 women organisations fighting for women's rights and making all efforts to get the fairer sex a dignified place and equal opportunity in the society, the Supreme Court does not mind a woman kicking another woman.
The UPA government led by Sonia Gandhi is trying hard to get the Women Reservation Bill passed by the parliament to ensure 33 percent reservation to women everywhere so that women are no more a weaker sex.
The UPA government has also passed the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDV Act). There are many organisations which are working to ensure its implementation in letter and spirit.
The efforts have started showing also - the country's President is a woman, the ruling party of the nation - Congress - which is also the oldest party of the country - is headed by a woman. The Parliament Speaker's chair is held by a woman who has tamed all the 500 odd members of the House. Even the biggest state Uttar Pradesh is headed by a woman and the biggest private bank too is managed by a woman.
There is no field where woman have not registered their presence.
In such a country the Supreme Court observes that a woman kicking a woman is not a big deal. The court obviously feels that kicking does not cause any grave injury to a woman's mental or physical health, and therefore it cannot be kept under the purview of section 498A of IPC.
Then what is a punishable offence? What causes grave mental or physical injury? Is only killing someone is an offence? Is murdering someone's honour not a crime? Where are the Human Rights activists? Where are the women activists? Why no one has so far spoken a word against this lopsided observation?
The observation explains that the honourable court has either little or no clue what violence against woman means. And also that mental health has no meaning for legal experts.
A person kicks when he/she resorts to violence. This small step which the Supreme Court perceives ``not a punishable offence'', if not more than often leads to divorce, suicides and bride burning.
To go deep into violence against women, it often starts with mental humiliation and insult, which - if not protested - turns into slaps, kicks and fists and eventually results into a bruised soul and bruised body.
As we advocate for all bad things - nip in the bud - such actions should be punished in the beginning. There is a need for some compassionate thinking here. Why encourage such actions which lead to such gruesome end and which have a very harsh end and which most of all cause severe damage to mental health of a woman. Instead, if the first slap or first kick or the first fist is countered legally, there would not be so many suicides, bride burnings and marriage break ups.
The Supreme Court also observed that ``if a mother in law gives second hand clothes to her daughter-in-law and gives perpetual sermons to her, that too is not a punishable offence.
Here is a question for all those who have made the law and who support this law and who practice this law -- Will they accept this behaviour if it takes place with their own daughters? Second hand clothes, kicks and slaps are far fetched moves, such people will react violently even if the mothers in law dare to speak in a raised voice with the daughters of these law makers and enforcers.
A woman is first a woman - then someone's daughter, and then sister, wife, mother and lastly the daughter in law.
I think we need to look into the law with a fresh perception. The law is needed to protect the integrity, dignity and respect of a woman irrespective of her relation to others in worldly perspective. Same goes for men.
The world would be a better place if we start looking at people as humans rather than judging them with the eyes of relations. A man or a woman is a human first and his or her dignity and respect should be maintained at every cost.
First let's see what exactly this Section 498A of IPC (Indian Penal Code) says --
498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.
Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.Explanation-For the purpose of this section, "cruelty" means-
(a) Any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health whether mental or physical) of the woman; or(b) Harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her meet such demand.]
The court has very quietly overlooked the words ``grave injury whether mental or physical health''.
In a country where there are over 250 women organisations fighting for women's rights and making all efforts to get the fairer sex a dignified place and equal opportunity in the society, the Supreme Court does not mind a woman kicking another woman.
The UPA government led by Sonia Gandhi is trying hard to get the Women Reservation Bill passed by the parliament to ensure 33 percent reservation to women everywhere so that women are no more a weaker sex.
The UPA government has also passed the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDV Act). There are many organisations which are working to ensure its implementation in letter and spirit.
The efforts have started showing also - the country's President is a woman, the ruling party of the nation - Congress - which is also the oldest party of the country - is headed by a woman. The Parliament Speaker's chair is held by a woman who has tamed all the 500 odd members of the House. Even the biggest state Uttar Pradesh is headed by a woman and the biggest private bank too is managed by a woman.
There is no field where woman have not registered their presence.
In such a country the Supreme Court observes that a woman kicking a woman is not a big deal. The court obviously feels that kicking does not cause any grave injury to a woman's mental or physical health, and therefore it cannot be kept under the purview of section 498A of IPC.
Then what is a punishable offence? What causes grave mental or physical injury? Is only killing someone is an offence? Is murdering someone's honour not a crime? Where are the Human Rights activists? Where are the women activists? Why no one has so far spoken a word against this lopsided observation?
The observation explains that the honourable court has either little or no clue what violence against woman means. And also that mental health has no meaning for legal experts.
A person kicks when he/she resorts to violence. This small step which the Supreme Court perceives ``not a punishable offence'', if not more than often leads to divorce, suicides and bride burning.
To go deep into violence against women, it often starts with mental humiliation and insult, which - if not protested - turns into slaps, kicks and fists and eventually results into a bruised soul and bruised body.
As we advocate for all bad things - nip in the bud - such actions should be punished in the beginning. There is a need for some compassionate thinking here. Why encourage such actions which lead to such gruesome end and which have a very harsh end and which most of all cause severe damage to mental health of a woman. Instead, if the first slap or first kick or the first fist is countered legally, there would not be so many suicides, bride burnings and marriage break ups.
The Supreme Court also observed that ``if a mother in law gives second hand clothes to her daughter-in-law and gives perpetual sermons to her, that too is not a punishable offence.
Here is a question for all those who have made the law and who support this law and who practice this law -- Will they accept this behaviour if it takes place with their own daughters? Second hand clothes, kicks and slaps are far fetched moves, such people will react violently even if the mothers in law dare to speak in a raised voice with the daughters of these law makers and enforcers.
A woman is first a woman - then someone's daughter, and then sister, wife, mother and lastly the daughter in law.
I think we need to look into the law with a fresh perception. The law is needed to protect the integrity, dignity and respect of a woman irrespective of her relation to others in worldly perspective. Same goes for men.
The world would be a better place if we start looking at people as humans rather than judging them with the eyes of relations. A man or a woman is a human first and his or her dignity and respect should be maintained at every cost.
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