just a housewife.....

One of my friends was sitting at a cafe where a western woman started a conversation with her. She asked my friend, ``what do you do?'' My friend replied, ``Nothing, I am just a housewife.''

In another incident, one day one of my friends husband came home from office and found the house in mess, children playing outside, dog sitting on sofa watching TV and wife still in bed. He woke up his wife and asked if everything was alright. The wife casually replied, ``Yeah, all well... Just that every evening you ask me what did I do the whole day. Well, today I didn't do that.''

No need to explain these two incidents as they carry heavy message in them.

A housewife slogs the whole day investing in humans, enabling them to perform better physically, emotionally and economically and thereby contribute more substantially to the society. But she is referred as``just a housewife''. The husbands are often seen confronting them scornfully what they did the whole day - as if they have only relaxed. These housewives and also many other such women remain invisible to the society for their contribution towards development.

India has a huge force of these fine and efficient workers, whose contribution in the society is huge and invaluable but it cannot be rated in economic terms. Unfortunately this contribution is seldom recognised and this force remains invisible to everyone, especially to economists.

This fifty percent of the nation's population is building homes, educating children, nursing those who are unwell, looking after people's health and nutrition; they also look after the cattle at home and till the agriculture fields, which their families own, bring water for everyone from far away places and do so many other odd jobs - but their diligent service to the society is mostly taken for granted. Their indirect but significant contribution to nation's economy is not taken in the purview of economic activities.

Mind you, there is no day off for this work force and no short breaks; they are on duty seven days a week and 365 days a year.

Often a question is asked as to why such low participation of women in labour - the answer is simple - they are not low in numbers but they are invisible.

Thankfully, a concern is emerging and the issue is now reaching the conference rooms. Recently, it was raised by a few concerned voices at an interface organised in the state capital, Delhi..

The event was a joint effort of Friederich Ebert Stiftung (FES) - a German Political Foundation and Women's Feature Service (WFS) - India's one and only women's feature syndicate. Damayanti Sridharan, senior advisor FES and Pamela Philipose, the Editor WFS were the brains behind the interface.

Eminent speakers like Bina Agarwal, the Director Indian Institute of Economic Growth (Delhi University), Reiko Tsushima, the Senior Gender Specialist of International Labour Organisation (ILO), Sunita Dhar of Jagori - a civil society organisation extensively working on issue of violence against women, social activist and politician Subhashini Ali, Senior development journalist Usha Rai and many more voices straight from the field shared their experiences and thoughts to take the issue to some logical solution.

What everyone felt was a need for the social workers, activists and other intellectuals to evolve ways so that this unpaid and unrecognised work by women force is acknowledged.

It will however start when women themselves will start valuing their meaningful contribution to the society.

Now we go back to the first two anecdotes - when my friend told the western woman that she was ``just a housewife'', the western woman had instantly snapped her with her comment, ``But being housewife is a 24 hour job of immense responsibility. You are doing so much for the society.''

`

celebrate life...

``Life against all odds, is life after all. It is far too precious to let go vain. Celebrate it with love and compassion.’’ Renowned theatre personality of India, Ms Tripurari Sharma is trying to convey this simple, yet not easily understood, message among the masses, through her play Shifa.

Shifa is an Urdu word, which means `healing’ – healing and comforting someone who is pain or agony, and in this case it is for all those human beings who are living with HIV.

Based on real life stories, the play sensitively handles the issue of stigma, which the HIV positive people face in the Indian society. Children are thrown out of schools, women do not get their share in property and men lose their jobs - all this just because they are detected as HIV positive. The agony of rejection makes them die hundred deaths every day, which is more painful than the real death.

Shifa’s message; an acceptance from people, a little compassion and a bit of love and care can tremendously improve the life quality of people living with HIV, besides making them feel alive and happy for the rest of the days they have in hand.

A Miranda House pass out and a product of National School of Drama (NSD), Sharma was working on stigma related to leprosy when this idea cropped up to simultaneously work on stigma relating to HIV. A humble, soft spoken and unassuming person, she was sensitive enough to feel the pulse of the issue but to enhance her understanding she did extensive research on the subject.

It involved travelling from south to north and from east to west – all across the nation and close interactions with a whole lot of HIV positive people. She put her feet in their shoes to grasp exactly what happens in their lives when they are confronted with an uncomfortable fact about their HIV status. These subjects of Shifa, became Sharma's friends and now she refers to them as strong and interesting people.

Regular interaction and interviews revealed that these people were living in virtual confinements with no friends, no love, no relations and worst of all, no hope. They were facing rejection, discrimination and constant struggle, both in their outside world and also in a world within.

``Chaaragar haar gaya ho jaise, ab to marna hi bada ho jaise; Mere maathe pe tere pyaar ka haanth, rooh per dast-e-hava ho jaise.’’ (the almighty seems to have given up, death looks like inevitable; your affectionate touch on my forehead, seems like cool air for the soul )

The above verse is from Shifa, which has been sung by a local (from Lucknow) composer Ravi Nagar in his mellifluous voice. He narrates how interesting and challenging it was to compose the music for a sensitive play like Shifa. ``To compose music for poetry is easy but to give music to thoughts and convert it into poetry was tough.’’ The end result of his efforts is beautiful as the lyrics impressively underline the state of mind of persons living with HIV, who inch closer to death every day, less because of the disease but more because their constant interface with stigma.

``Being a woman I knew what discrimination was and for an artiste stigma is not an alien word. What I understood during my interaction with HIV positive people was that slowly they internalise this stigma, which brings them into a denial mode.’’ She made minute observations for deep comprehension of what goes within the psyche of a person living with HIV.

Ms Sharma’s message to the world through her theatre is – spread love, feel compassion and extend comfort to all those who are suffering as life is too precious to be rejected at any cost even if it is the last day of the life.

The play reminded me of the famous pop singer Michael Jackson, who was a great philanthropist and humanitarian, and who in 1991, had written lyrics denoting similar feelings of compassion for the fellow human beings who are in need of it .........

``Heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me, and for entire human race; there are people dying, if you care enough for the living, make it a better place for you and for me.’’

Ayodhya needs bigger hearts!!!

A piece of land and a few fundamental forces can keep a whole lot of people on their toes. India has a living example to prove this, in the form of Ayodhya Ram Janma Bhoomi and Babri Masjid case.

The legal proceedings in the matter had been carrying on for last 60 years. Many people who were involved in the case died long ago, many others have changed their political alliances.

Now the court is ready with its verdict. The court is to decide basically whether originally there was a mosque or a temple.

Both parties in the case - Hindus and Muslims have the legal rights to move the Apex Court of the country, if the verdict is not in their favour.

Speculations are that in case the verdict goes in favour of Muslims, they would then hand over the land to Hindus, instead of taking any further legal action.

The reason is simple; a few progressive Muslims observe - ``The land in question is disputed and no Muslim would like to offer Namaaz at a site that had been involved in legal entangle. Let Hindus make a temple or do whatever they want to do with the land.''

Their opinion is -- ``The decision might ignite differences among the Muslims, but that would be a fight within a community and it would not cause a tussle between Hindu and Muslims.''

What a noble thought!

Why can't the Hindu forces think on such lines as this would end the tussle once for all.

This whole conjuncture sounds more like a wishful thinking, though.

But, if this happens, the government then can use the land for building a hospital where poor people can get free treatment. The hospital can be named Ram Janma Bhoomi Babri Masjid Hospital or Ayodhya Hospital, for which both Hindus and Muslims can donate money.

Or the land can also be used for building a higher education institute where students of Ayodhya can get higher degrees.

Such an act would benefit people from both the communities - which is not at all possible by building a mosque or a temple.

However, we can only wait and watch. Let's see what actually happens and who reacts in what way!!!

Sonia's pick?

The people of this most populous north Indian state of Uttar Pradesh are desperately waiting for a change of guard.

Regional parties (Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP) - led by Mayawati and the Samajwadi Party (SP) - led by Mulayam Singh Yadav) have been tested in this state time and again.

Presently the state is ruled by Behen Kumari (Sister Ms) Mayawati ji.

Both of these parties have confirmed and reconfirmed with lot of conviction that land grabbing and money making would remain at the prime focus in their rule.

Development remains an alien word for these parties, whose leaders lack in vision. They cannot see beyond their immediate personal gains. The result is that every time these regional parties come to rule, they push the state a few years back.

Now the options, with which the people of Hindi heartland are left with, are either the Bhartiya Janata Party (BJP) or the Congress - both national parties and both have ruled the nation.

Of these, the BJP is a party, which is constantly on a decline since after its dynamic leader Atal Bihari Vajpayee - who had been the Prime Minister of the country also - retired from politics. In Uttar Pradesh, the party is facing crisis of not only leadership but it is also bankrupt when it comes to raising public issues.

Even in this 21st century when the world talks of revolutions in genetic sciences and information technology, the BJP talks of Ram Mandir (Temple of Hindu God Ram) and tries to lure the voter in the name of a Hindu mythological character.

The only hope left is the comeback of the Congress party, which at present, is ruling the country with its alliance partners and which has at least started talking about system reforms.

The last best governance, which Uttar Pradesh can boast of, was of the Congress party (two decades back).

The young generation (below 21) has not seen the rule of the Congress and they are pinning their hopes in this party, mostly because its young leader Rahul Gandhi.

The party pitched in Rita Bahuguna Joshi against the Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Mayawati by giving her the charge of the party in this state. An energetic and hard working woman, Rita completely changed the way the party used to function, earlier. The Congress leaders in Uttar Pradesh were known for their comfortable life styles as they preferred to stay inside in the comforts of their air-conditioned rooms.

But, Rita changed the trend and led all political events from the front. Her daunting efforts brought dividends and the Congress party, which had been long forgotten in this state, at least became visible. People started recognising it as a potential contender in the elections.

In over two and half years' time Rita held thousands of public meetings, demonstrations and sit-ons in the state. She travelled to each district of the state a minimum of three times. She travels not less than 400 kilometres everyday and holds at least two meetings, daily, on an average. She is constantly confronting Mayawati on people’s problems and thereby posing a discomfiture to Mayawati’s absolute majority government.

Under her leadership, the party's vote percentage went up from 12 in 2004 parliament polls to 18 in 2009 general elections and the seats doubled (from 10 to 21). The rising graph obviously strengthened people's hope.

At this juncture, the time came for the selection of a new party chief in the state.

Unfortunately, the party, which was putting up a show of strength till now, suddenly seemed to be crumbling down.

Internal bickering and strong differences started coming to the fore. There are strong lobbies working to restrict Rita from repeating (primarily because men couldn't tolerate a woman doing better than them) the office of state president. Many veterans claimed their stakes in case there were elections for the party president's post - all this stooping only to defeat Rita.

It was sad to see senior leaders openly protesting against the woman (Rita), who gathered the party literally from the dust, cleaned it, polished it and made it sparkle.

Aware of the conflicts within the party in this most backward state, the Congress chief Sonia Gandhi finally took the rein in her hands. Now, it is she, who would announce the name of the person who would lead the party in Uttar Pradesh and under whose leadership the Congress would contest the next most crucial assembly elections in the state.

Let's see what she decides and who gets the post. Should it be Rita who would carry forward her own fine work of strengthening the party or a new face, who would start working from scratch to first build his own credibility and then work for the party!

Any guesses !!!

weighty issue

I used to think it's only British, who have nothing else to talk except weather (apart from food, of course). Now, I see that even Indians are gradually having dearth of topics. The topic of conversation we Indians love to indulge the most, is `people's weight'.

Of course, weather too remains one of our most favourite topics but weight comes heavily on everything else. Whether it is two friends meeting after a long or two colleagues bumping into each other after a long gap - the conversation invariably starts with `weight'. This weighty discussions take place even behind the back of people in question.

What coaxed me to raise this issue are two recent incidents....

I happened to meet an old colleague of mine after a gap of over six months and the welcoming words from him were -- ``Ooohhh... Is everything alright with you? You have lost so much weight! You are looking so weak...''!!

Miffed, I didn't know what to say - so I apologised for being so negligent to my health and also blamed my busy schedule for bringing me to this misery of being slim.

The fact is that my weight has got stuck to 50 kilos for last many years and I practice Yoga to maintain and stay around that nice number. God too had always been kind to me for not letting me grow fat ever. The situation has however perturbed many, who are concerned about my well being. (Now that's a different story that they would never call me to know about my welfare).

I started wondering if this guy has nothing else to ask me or could he not find any other way to start the conversation!! (In such cases talking of weather is better, I suppose.)

A few days later, I saw a photo caption story in an English daily. The story was on an Indian film star Kareena Kapoor, who started the trend of zero figure in the Indian film industry. The photographer had captured the lovely actress in three different angles. In all the photos the actress was wearing short dresses revealing her long legs. However, the photographer had his lens focused on her thighs. The shutterbug had tried to conclude how negligent Kareena Kapoor was towards her figure, which made her gain excess fat on her thighs.

I tried to look at the pictures from different angles - unfortunately, I could not see any excess fat and the actress to me looked as ravishing as she always does.

I realised then that again if there is nothing to talk - talk about weight, especially when the person in question is a woman. The same rule does not apply to men. Never one must have heard men commenting on their mates' weight - even if they are fat, or look like match stick or have a big, ugly paunch.

I want to ask all such people who are concerned about people's weight so much ---

What's my colleague's problem if I have lost a few kilos

And what's this photographer's concern if Kareena has gained a few pounds.

Please, get a life!!! And for God's sake let people live their lives. Let them decide how much fat they would love to see on their bodies. If we are happy in our skins, it should not bother our friends and well wishers. Spare us women, please. We are grown and mature enough to watch our weight, we don't need weight watchers.

Go, and read some good literature and watch some thought provoking movies. Watch some sports, develop some hobby and get involved in some creative activity and you will then have no dearth of topics to talk about!!!

it's a shame!

http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/up-woman-pps-officer-assaulted-by-traffic-constables-in-bareilly-49199

Read the news in the link given here -- It's shameful!!!

I feel ashamed of the whole incident. It should make the whole society feel ashamed - at least everyone in this state of Uttar Pradesh where law and order has gone for a six.

The incident made me wonder as to which type of society we are heading, where people have no fear of law, where the law abiding citizens have to go through such harrowing experiences but where the criminals roam freely with their heads high!!!

Three constables (One of the lowest ranks in the Indian police, who are recruited directly by the state governments) tried to run over a woman officer from Indian Police Services (IPS) (who are selected through an all India level examination). The officer, who became a victim of these barbarian male cops, was not only a woman, she was also their senior.

It is significant to note that the incident has taken place in a state, which is ruled by a woman. However, the government has done its duty by suspending the constables, who are absconding. It is pertinent to mention here that in suspension a government employee gets half his salary. As usual the constables would remain in the hiding for a while till everyone has forgotten the incident and would then resume their duties as nothing has happened.

What I feel is that such impertinent and animal-like people - whether they are in the government jobs or in the private services - should immediately be chucked out of jobs with adverse entries in their service records. Besides, they should be given some strict punishment restricting others to dare similar actions.

But this is purely a wishful thinking as I am sure it will never be the case - at least not in this state of Uttar Pradesh. In this state, the government employees and the politician are above all laws. They can mistreat anyone, misbehave with anyone, beat anyone, damage anyone's property, or even kill anyone and can simply walk away.

The vehicles ferrying government officers and their families use pressure horns (which are legally banned) and give mental pressure to so many. The vehicles of politicians jump the traffic signals and cause traffic chaos and hazards for others. The big lorries involved in transporting the construction material required for the monuments and memorials of the government kill at

least one person (including school going children) on a daily basis.

The vehicles, which are carrying either the government officials or the politicians, now also the high court judges, intimidate the law-abiding commuters on the road - who generally follow the traffic rules. The vehicles of politicians and bureaucrats are - as a rule - never park their vehicles in the parking. Hit and run is a routine formula for government vehicles.

But none of these people have ever been punished. No action has been taken against these law breakers.

It's people like you and me whose cars are lifted by the traffic cops because once in a blue moon we do not park in the parking lot. We have to face the legal case if we by chance get involved in an accident. We are fined for having a dark solar filming in our cars while all the politicians go out freely in jet black filming.

These bureaucrats and politicians have given patronage to their subordinates, who are simply following their bosses and indulging in all sorts of illegal activities. This patronage has given courage to the lowest of the lows ranks to dare mistreat even their seniors. They know that law has got nothing to do with them as they are beyond these legalities which are for the lesser mortals, like us.

I don't think even these constables would be punished hard enough (suspension is not punishment) for their crime!